Album Review: UFO by Need New Body

Lately, I've been getting somewhat desperate in terms of music that I latch onto. It's less that any song that's downright catchy leads me on an epic search for the rest of that artist's efforts, but more that if a song by a random artist, unbeknownst to me, that I've never heard of before suddenly enters my world at full force and I find it impossible to drive it out, that I search out the rest of what whoever that may be has to offer.

And this is what led me to Need New Body.

Backstory time! A few weeks back, Anthony Fantano (better known as "theneedledrop") did an online DJ set on turntable.fm. Curious as to what he would play, I dropped by for a few minutes and listened in. Aside from a familiar song from Minor Threat, I had never heard any of what Fantano played on that show before. And none of it really seemed to grab me. With the exception of one deceptively, insanely catchy song that is the epitome of an ear worm.

This song, with its unbelievable combination of electronica, banjo, strings, gypsy rock, and Frank Black-esque vocals, stuck with me for a long, long time. It was my go-to song when bored and unable to find a song. It became a musical drug unlike any other, the urge to return to it so strong I couldn't resist its charms for more than a day. And, more than anything else, it became a musical quandary unlike any other.

I believe that, if you try hard enough, you can categorize any music into genres. This isn't necessarily a good thing (lumping multiple things that only vaguely sounds like each other into the same field, yada yada), but it helps those lost in the myriad of music available at one's fingertips. Here, however, was the first time I've been unable to come up with a genre that even remotely describes that song above. The group's Wikipedia page described them as "avant-garde," but avant-garde music isn't this... catchy. Or this compulsively danceable.

It eventually drove me so obsessively insane that I had no choice but to seek out the full album. And, may I say, that "avant-garde" label certainly fits UFO as a whole.

The opening track, Giggle Bush Meets CompUSA, is a clear indicator of what you're getting yourself into: what begins as a simple melody devolves into a series of crazy bleeps and bloops that is too sudden to even call jarring. It's jagged in every sense of the word, but funny for how long it ends up going on. But, then, we get one of the most compelling tracks of the album, Hot Shot. After a squawky start, there's an incredibly simple yet delirious banjo(?) part that acts as the song's central melody. And, if you didn't realize from the previous track that the group has a crazy sense of humor, the track here fades before the melody is hilariously shouted at the top of the vocalist's lungs and the instrumentation lankily comes back into play. Suffice it to say, it's one of the more cohesive and noteworthy tracks on the album.

Since there are 23 songs on this album and many of them never evolve past simple ideas, I'll touch on the ones worth mentioning instead of doing my typical track-by-track business.

Let's start with the good. The main "single"(?) of the album is Beach, a ridiculous, parodical anthem for the oft-implemented setting in the same vein as America, Fuck Yeah (despite being released a year before that song, with the ubiquity of the latter, the comparison is inevitable). No, really.

That list towards the middle of the song should set off some bells of familiarity in those of you who have heard America, Fuck Yeah. The fact that it concludes with "Race wars/I'm hanging out/The youth will rule/O.D./Totally/Awesome" should tip off anyone who hasn't spotted that by this point. Also, I will forever be compelled to randomly yell out "Robfish!" whenever anyone ever mentions a pufferfish ever again.

Red as a Bone is completely uninteresting musically, but notable for its droning recitation of a list that goes on for nearly four minutes, essentially a musical representation of the cake sphere from Portal. So, why is this mentioned in the "good" section of the review? Merely for the last 30 seconds, which shrugs off the length of the song in an overacted manner. Ox also sounds boring on paper; it's a single running melody that continually stops and starts back up again, but, for whatever reason, works and never gets boring. Perhaps it's due to the progressing instrumentation that overlays it approximately halfway into the track (something that the horribly dull two-minute-long I Know lacks).

Pow Pow gets by mostly on sheer diversity and its odd combination of elements, packing in a xylophone fill, low bass tones, a piano line and simple vocals in a minute and a half. Shark Attack is a compelling mix of hammer-ons and pull-offs and a constant "One! Two! Three!" shout that is one of the more exciting and memorable tracks. And, speaking of memorable, Pen hits the mark for its incredibly catchy chorus ("Pen, pen, pen/Where's my pen?") and darkly comedic verses about the pen's connection to the narrator's relatives (including a sick grandma and a cousin with one arm).

But, if there's one song worth mentioning over all others, it's Show Me Your Heart. If you listened to the link up above, you know why this song caught my attention and urged me to listen to the whole album. Its hybrid approach to numerous styles, humorous lyrics, memorable vocals, and overall completeness (more so than practically every other song on the album) is a near-perfect array of obtuseness. And, if the rest of the album was as fleshed out as this song, perhaps I'd like it more than I do.

This is due to the fact that, as you may have guessed from my description of the album, so many songs (if you can call them that) simply exist as brief ideas or interludes and are never fleshed out beyond their simplest concepts. This would be fine if they served simply as bridges between two fully developed songs, but, more often than not, they just lead into yet another bizarre yet brief track. After a while, the constant detours into acoustic ballads (Moondear), piano stings (Make Gay Love Not War, Coffee Shop Girl, Pt. 2), banjo music (Magic Finger), radio parodies (Dr. Spliffin's Food Drive), and feedback (Apple Snake) make the relief of a full-fledged, honest-to-God song that much more worthwhile. These diversions then cease to be amusing or interesting, instead dragging out the album beyond it's necessary threshold of tolerability. I know that this album was made with a "kitchen sink" mentality, but sometimes less is more and the fat needs to be trimmed.

Which brings me to the album's lowest point, only four tracks in. Popfest is banality incarnate: a simple bass line, a single line of lyrics, and random distortion for nearly three minutes before the distortion grows without becoming any more immediate or frantic. It meanders, it lingers, and makes me pine for the dull yet brief oddities that pepper the rest of the album.

Unlike the opening track, which has the element of surprise in its favor, closing song Turns Pillars Into Trees is a disappointing slinky bass line that just suddenly ends. And that's it. That's the end of the album.

"Frustrated" is the best way to describe my reaction to UFO. Based on my initial love of Show Me Your Heart and how much I enjoy the tracks that I ended up liking, I wanted, and was, in fact, quite ready to embrace the weirdness I was prepared to hear. What disappointed me was how boring most of it ended up sounding. Even after only one listen through, I found myself more compelled to revisit individual songs rather than the album as a whole, which speaks negatively to the album's overall smooth flow. Yet, if there's one thing I can take away from this album, it's that it certainly traversed the a wide range, in its genres and styles definitely, but more prominently in quality, from the excellent to the dull to (more often than anything else) the mediocre.

Best Songs: Show Me Your Heart, Hot Shot, Beach
Worst Songs: Popfest, Turn Pillars Into Trees, I Know

Mini Album Review: Threat Level Ultra by Ghidoragh

If there's one genre of music I really want to get into more than I already have, it's hardcore punk. Maybe it's just because, so far, I've listened to all the right stuff (Bad Brains, Minor Threat, etc.), but what I've heard is enough to convince me on the entirety of the genre. Thus, a random article on Kotaku became a blessing in disguise when it allowed me to discover an awesome contemporary addition to the genre. (The article mentioned the cover, reminiscent of an old-school video game cover and its extravagant physical packaging, but mentioned little to nothing about the album itself.)

Ghidoragh, if my understanding of the group is correct, is a hardcore punk outfit from New Zealand. I've been unable to find out how long they've been around, but perhaps the only existing YouTube video I could find seems to date them back to 1999. And it claims to be a reunion show. I honestly have no idea when the group got started (I doubt it's the same group, because some of the band's official pages call this EP their debut) but, no matter if this is their first effort or their thirtieth, one thing's certain: this EP kicks all kinds of ass.

The first thing that has to be noted is the length of this thing. Staying true to their roots, Threat Level Ultra clocks in at just under nine minutes over the course of eight tracks. No track is longer than a minute and a half, and I'll be damned if the group doesn't pack in some serious punch in record time.

The first track demonstrates exactly what this group is going for: Fledgling Industry is a light-hearted, parodical perspective into the business world with the driving line of "One hundred million dollars/One hundred million dollars/Business, business." There's a lot to get psyched for in this 48-second track, and as it seamlessly segues into First Contact, we get an even catchier line that jumps from 15 to 16 to 18 to 20 to 30 to 40 to 50 to 1000. (I can't quite make out what comes after each of the numbers, but it doesn't make it any less noteworthy.) For all of the hardcore punk I've listened too, very little of it has been enough to make me hum it nonchalantly during mundane activities (with the exception of Sailin' On by Bad Brains). Not only does this rock, but it's surprisingly compulsively listenable.

Suncrash offers the first of many retro-inspired audio clips, this one appearing from what sounds like a sci-fi film, as well as more of the same in terms of music. Bonus Level is a neat little lo-fi epilogue to this song taken from what sounds like either live footage or a raw recording of rehearsal footage.

Goop on the Perimeter has one of the most bafflingly funny audio clips from what sounds like an old PC game with a voiceover that sounds like John Cleese, culminating with the line "Now... masturbate!" The album's sole instrumental, it starts fast-paced like it's predecessors before coming down into a sludgy stomp that is hypnotically intoxicating.

Spiders is another light-hearted, fast 'n' heavy romp that plays like a punk version of something from Need New Body. It's a fun little non-sequitur of a song with lines like "Spiders, spiders everywhere/Spiders, spiders in my hair." And it ends with yet another cool audio clip, this one coming from what sounds like an old grindhouse movie trailer.

Threat Level Ultra is probably the most epic track on the EP, beginning with a siren wail before a slow opening and going through several progressions too numerous to note in writing before ending as soon as it began. It never repeats, never becomes dull, and is continuously interesting. It's an awe-inspiring track simply in its nature and really shows off the group's potential better than any other.

Dirt Dicks (yes, that's the actual name of the track) begins in one of the most oddly fitting ways I've ever heard a song start; it opens with an audio clip of Bill Cosby explaining an experience he had drumming with Sonny Stitt before effortlessly working in a count-in to the actual song. And it works. Flawlessly. The song itself fits the typical hardcore punk vibe more than the rest of the EP, working in nihilism and pure unfiltered energy (as opposed to previous songs about business, contact with aliens, militarism, and space) before ending with more of what we've come to expect: the climactic ending audio clip from the game The Chaos Engine.

As much as I've enjoyed writing this review for this short but sweet taste of the band's output, it really can't compare to hearing the actual thing. So, regardless of if you're a fan of hardcore punk or new to the genre, take a listen to the EP over on the group's Bandcamp page (linked below). Best of all, if, like me, you really enjoy this collection of music, you can download it at a price of your own choosing. I'd really like to see more from this group, so any bit of contribution helps. I really dug this small taste of what Ghidoragh can offer and definitely look forward to whatever they put out next.

Best Songs: Threat Level Ultra, Fledgling Industry, First Contact
Worst Songs: It's a 9 minute, 8 track EP. Does it fucking matter if there's anything worth being called "worst"? (Not that anything on here even comes close deserves that label.)

Album Review: ...Like Clockwork by Queens of the Stone Age

As someone who professes to be a critic, it's commonplace assumption that this means you need to find something to criticize in everything. I'll admit, this has been true for most of the stuff I've reviewed since I've never claimed anything to be "perfect," but...

GOD. DAMN. This album. I mean, it's not necessarily perfect, but it was certainly the best experience I had listening to music this year, in the last few years, and possibly one of the best of all time. I've already been hyping the hell out of this album internally and externally, put out two videos about it in anticipation, and probably drove off a few of my so-called "friends" on Facebook posting about this, but it somehow met and exceeded all of my expectations. A music nerd needs to be able to obsessively geek out over something every now and then, and that now and then is right now.

...Like Clockwork did the impossible: take a band I merely had a passing interest in due to one fantastic album and turned them into bona fide rockstars. Songs for the Deaf was the quintessential rock album of the last decade and, as of right now, ...Like Clockwork is the standout of the genre for this decade. Every song is fleshed out and with a sound of its own (not unlike Deaf), but unlike that past entry, every song seems to have its own emotional core. Sure, Six Shooter was a funny little throwaway song, but it didn't have the melancholic breakdown of album opener Keep Your Eyes Peeled, wherein the album's nastiest song turns into a lament on fading optimism. Right off the bat, you can tell that ...Like Clockwork is going for something special and of its own, unlike anything that Queens of the Stone Age  has done before. Many have attributed this to frontman Josh Homme's near-death experience following knee surgery, and there's a certain mortality in his lyrics that rock music hasn't touched upon since Bruce Springsteen's The Rising.

By now, it sounds like I'm laying the praises on heavily, but an album that can rock as hard as this and holds so many more layers than its peers deserves to be made an example of. The melancholy is brought to the forefront with I Sat By The Ocean, a title that conjures weariness and pausing as the world passes you by. The guitar riff here is foregrounded, but in a muted, expressive manner that allows for a line comparing the speaker and the subject to "passing ships in the night" to evolve into "crashing ships in the night." Something that could merely be a subtle shift instead ends up a literal wreck. When was the last time you heard something like this in rock music?

Just when the album looks to be settling into a groove, though, it ramps things up in terms of both quality and content. Even with an opening song that details the view from Hell, when the first words out of Homme's mouth are "I want God to come and take me home," you're in for an entirely different beast. Thus, The Vampyre Of Time And Memory marks the turning point of the album. Though it lacks the intensity of the two previous tracks, the melancholy and emotion overwhelms to the point of sensory overload. It sinks in that this is what the album is going for, this is the type of album Homme intended to make, especially with the title track following in its footsteps at the album's conclusion.

The streak of great songs continues with If I Had A Tail, wherein Homme rattles off some of the album's best lyrics about the state of the world and his own being. What the meaning behind the song lacks, the excellent instrumentation and clever writing makes up for, giving the tune its own sense of sheer funk rock bravado. My God Is The Sun follows suit and wins simply for being an exciting, exhilarating rock song. (My God, when was the last time we had one of those?) Even with some jarringly out-of-place lyrics ("I don't know what time it was/I don't wear a watch," comedic drum effect optional), the song never lets up and succeeds merely on the steam on which it runs.

And then there's Kalopsia. What starts off as slow introspection turns into a schizophrenic back-and-forth between Homme and guest vocalist Trent Reznor before the unhinged come-down. Mixing equal parts Bowie-era glam rock and some of the heaviest power chords on the album, the duality of the song works in tandem with excellent lyrics such as "forget the rat in the race, we'll choke-chain them all."

Fairweather Friends works in a similar duality, tying a hard rock sensibility that most of the album has going for it with a driving piano riff led by Elton John. It's one of the more fun tracks on the album (even with the pessimistic lyrics) and is elevated by an ending so unexpected that it had me laughing purely from shock value.

It makes sense then that Smooth Sailing should follow this song, as it continues that "couldn't care less" attitude from Fairweather Friends with a cocky stride unrivaled (expertly mirroring the title). Again, the lyricism here is top-notch; where else are you going to find the line "I will blow my load over the status quo?"

What follows is what could easily be called the album's centerpiece: the epic, moody I Appear Missing. I've already talked in length about what makes this song so special, but, to add to the absolutely brilliant, striking lyrics that run throughout this thing, the second half of the song, which results in one of the most cathartic musical conclusions in recent memory, is interminably stunning. One could write essays about the depth of the lyrics, the marvelous instrumentation, or the fascinating structure of it all, even perhaps how all three intertwine in a way most musicians wouldn't even begin to dream about. Regardless, it's by far the most alluring cut from the album.

The band closes the album in a quiet fashion, with the title track detailing nerve-wracked thoughts of the past and coming to terms with the present. The barebones piano of the song's first half is haunting, allowing for reflection of all things that passed, before the most muted instrumental backing on the album comes in. Given the mood of the rest of the album, lyrically and instrumentally, it's somewhat fitting that ...Like Clockwork ends in a state of melancholic understatement rather than a show-stopping finale.

This album is a rarity in music. Every track has something worth talking about, greater depth and more nuanced instrumentation than most music currently out there. The band gives the album its all (especially the drums, which add a crucial layer to every song and serve as the backbone to the stellar lyrics and blistering guitar riffs). It's been a while since I've found something to like in every moment of an album; there's not a wasted moment, not a single expendable piece. I'm simply amazed that an album like this can simultaneously satisfy visceral rock urges and analytical tendencies, and, more importantly, simply exist.

(Author's Note: This late review is due to me ordering the Deluxe Double LP of the album, which suffered some delays. However, it was definitely worth the wait. The vinyl was in excellent condition, as to be expected, but the real winner of this packaging is the 20-page art booklet built into the package. The absolutely gorgeous artwork from Boneface coupled with complete lyric sheets makes this a must-own for those who want the complete package. Hands-down: this is one of the greatest vinyl packagings I've ever seen as a record collector.)

Best Songs: I Appear Missing, My God Is The Sun, The Vampyre Of Time And Memory
Worst Songs: For just once, would anyone be upset if I put nothing here? I really can't justify calling anything on this album "worst."